Nonfood You Can Extrude

Why not eat those Play-Doh pies? More than 50 years of whipping up inedible clay creations.

By Jess Kapadia | Friday, 29 January 2010 | 13:21

I wish I had a way to know what percentage of American children eat Play-Doh at least once during their childhood. The sculpting clay that's been around since 1956 has a smell so strong and so distinct that it is imprinted in the memory of many nostalgic types. I’m sure crumbs of the squishy polymer firmly can be found sticking to carpet fibers in many homes today.

One thing that puzzled me as a child was that Play-Doh accessories seemed to be made almost exclusively for molding the stuff into food shapes. Why, then, were the adults in my life so adamant that I not eat my creations?

I accepted fairly readily that my molded artworks weren't candy. But it didn't make much sense to use my motor skills to the very best of my abilities just to crank out what appeared to be a me-sized hamburger -- only to be forbidden to eat it. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only kid who felt that way.

According to its patent, the starch-based modeling compound is composed of "binder," water, salt, "lubricant" and "preservative," in addition to several other relatively harmless-sounding non-toxic ingredients that keep Play-Doh-induced trips to the ER infrequent. There’s a good chance your pediatrician won’t bother seeing your kid even for extreme cases of ingestion, although Celiac sufferers may have a reaction from the wheat content. Nobody has ever died from ingesting Play-Doh, which today can no longer be said about actual burgers. According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, "although Play-Doh is non-toxic, you still don’t want your child to eat it," which is likely due to the high sodium content and fact that … well, it isn’t food.

The trip-down-memory-lane website In the '80s devotes a whole page to Play-Doh. Its description: "Soft and squishy dough, you could make things with it like fries and monkeys." See? Fries. Several readers left their memoirs on the pages’ comments.

"A classic toy. I loved licking it. Hours of fun."

"If I remember correctly, this stuff was fairly tasty."

"Yummm..."

Maybe even knowingly, the good folks who’ve been designing Play-Doh accessories for the last 50 years have had success with food-centric "activity centers." Play-Doh’s homepage even features a little boy offering you a plate of some of the scrumptious kid-friendly fare he’s extruded up, just for you. Some examples:

A barbecue grill with plastic spatula, tongs and molds for hamburgers, hot dogs, buns, tomatoes, pickles, shrimp and mushrooms (for the rotating kebab skewer) and an extruder for your ketchup and mustard needs.
A kitchen with plastic stove, oven and pan and molds for chicken legs, steak, ham, vegetables, a "garlic press" extruder for bacon and string beans and a toaster that extrudes toast.
A pasta factory that makes spaghetti, linguini and ravioli, with molds for meatballs and vegetables.
A Burger King Whopper "burger builder" that presses patties and buns with molds for lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions, and a "twist-a-chip" extruder for potato chips.
And (in a cruel twist of corporate double-crossery) McDonaldland, nearly identical to the Burger King set, but with an extruder that dispenses milkshakes and fries.
Pizza party with rolling pin and molds for all your favorite toppings (from anchovies to chili peppers)
Magic Swirl Ice Cream Shop, with extruders for ice cream and whipped cream, a sprinkle chopper and molds for cookies and candy

And that’s not all. But if nobody has any problem with the odd juxtaposition of salty sculpting material and food, I’m all the more proud that my first toddling ventures into cooking involved a yellow plastic can and a simple goal: to make a tasty burger.